Hi!
It's been ages since the last time I updated my blog.
I don't know why today I feel like I want to write about what had happened for the past few years.
Writing this while listening to Linkin Park's Meteora is like having back my old self that I have been searching for quite some time.
From 2012 until 2018 I have been ups and downs which I thought was normal for me.
Until I started to lose my hobbies, my passion and worst my will to live.
I felt like I was in the dark cave and the more I walked into it to find the light, the darker it was.
I started to feel useless and hopeless.
I started to feel like I am the burden.
I hate my self.
May 2018
I came to realize there is something not right about me.
I sat down alone and took the DASS test form.
The result shocked me. I told my friends first.
I don't know how to tell my mom about it.
I was only able to text my mom via Whatsapp.
I can't talk to her at that time.
A few days after I took the DASS test form,
I went to the nearest Klinik Kesihatan to seek help from the doctor.
I didn't simply do self-diagnosed.
My mom came to me and both of us went to the hospital.
After a few procedures and of course patiently waiting,
I was able to meet with a psychiatry.
The history was taken mostly from my mom because I can't talk.
All I could do was crying like a baby.
The doctor was so good. She asked nicely and took every single thing into account.
She gave me 2 weeks off and medication.
And there I was,
diagnosed with
Bipolar Type II.