2023

 Hallu!!

It took me another year to even update a thing.

It is already 2023.

I have been through a lot in the past 365 days in 2022.

Alhamdulillah I am still alive.

Will update later.

Living with Bipolar 2

20th July 2020

Having an appointment with my doctor.

Alhamdulillah I feel a lot better now.

I just need to have a good rest and manage my tasks well.

I have to keep in mind that I need time to heal.

I should not force myself cause that will stress me.

Seems like I have been living with Bipolar 2 for two years now.

I have learn a lot about my illness and yet still a lot more to learn.

........

12th July 2021

It took me nearly a year to continue writing about my journey.

Well, I have to face my ups and downs.

Having relapses.

Due to several issues, all the things have made me easily triggered.

As for today, I am still recovering.

I still think living is hard.

But the ideations to end my life have gone.

Much better than before.

That's it for now.

I will continue writing again sooner or later.

DIAGNOSED WITH BIPOLAR TYPE II

Hi!

It's been ages since the last time I updated my blog.

I don't know why today I feel like I want to write about what had happened for the past few years.

Writing this while listening to Linkin Park's Meteora is like having back my old self that I have been searching for quite some time.

From 2012 until 2018 I have been ups and downs which I thought was normal for me. 

Until I started to lose my hobbies, my passion and worst my will to live.

I felt like I was in the dark cave and the more I walked into it to find the light, the darker it was.

I started to feel useless and hopeless.

I started to feel like I am the burden.

I hate my self.

May 2018

I came to realize there is something not right about me.

I sat down alone and took the DASS test form.

The result shocked me. I told my friends first.

I don't know how to tell my mom about it.

I was only able to text my mom via Whatsapp.

I can't talk to her at that time.

A few days after I took the DASS test form, 

I went to the nearest Klinik Kesihatan to seek help from the doctor.

I didn't simply do self-diagnosed.

My mom came to me and both of us went to the hospital.

After a few procedures and of course patiently waiting,

I was able to meet with a psychiatry.

The history was taken mostly from my mom because I can't talk.

All I could do was crying like a baby.

The doctor was so good. She asked nicely and took every single thing into account.

She gave me 2 weeks off and medication.

And there I was, 

diagnosed with

Bipolar Type II.

[UNICORN GUNDAM]

Introducing...

My new Gunpla Collection~~

Gundam Unicorn

Half way~ hehe did half of this end of last year.

DONE..~
my UNICORN is running! hihi..

Standing!

yeah! I am tough! I KNOW! hee~

hye, there!

what's up?

what..?

this is me!

This is what I am..

ehem!

well~ me again!

weapons!

with so called full psycho frame~  

I'm trapped!

Let me out! Let me out!

OK. I know, I'll just stand still.

In the making~

Oh, stickers!! will be used next time for complete look!

1/100 (MG) RX-0 UNICORN GUNDAM HD COLOR + MS CAGE

WELCOME!

IT'S FUN TO COOK!

9 days off is getting to an end.

I cooked several dishes.

here we go:

Macaroni and cheese

The Ingredients

ready to be baked

BAKED ~~

 enjoy~

next:

Bread Pudding

Ready to be baked

Done!

 

 

  Full of raisins.. yeah. I knew. Put them a lot on purpose cause I love raisins!

Next:

Seafood Lasagna

Getting ready to be put into the oven

the cheese is already melting.~~

yeap! It's time to eat!

my little brother finished it all up!

last but not least..

Choc lava.~~

I fall in love with the choc lava from domino's pizza and kept thinking how they did it.

hihi. found the recipe and baked it!

here it goes..~ 

my own choc lava

 

done!!

and time to eat~~

can you see the melting choc there..??

can you see..?? can you see..??

need to reduce the amount of brown sugar.

hihi..too sweet (as I accidentally put a lot of brown sugar)

yes.

seriously enjoy my 9 days off.

tomorrow heading back to the place where I work.

Alhamdulillah.

my mom is getting a lot better.

and my dad gained weight due to my cooking projects.

hihi.

take care all..

thank you for stopping by.

annyeong!

[RUN] Inspired Eye Make Up

RUN choreography is SUPERB!!

I seriously love it!!

MBLAQ is getting better and better!

and get well soon Leader Yang~~

I did notice their eye make-up.

and here it is..

black gel eye liner.

as simple as that! ^^

MYSTERY! MYSTERY!

7 pm.

went into my house.

out of no where.

came a bat.

soaring in the house.

unfortunately, the bat had bad luck,

it landed right into the toilet bowl.

as it was trying so hard to climb up the bowl,

I went into my room to find a plastic bag.

and the minute when I returned,

the bat was already GONE!

JUST LIKE THAT!!!

I kept on searching~~

it can't be disappeared JUST like that.

besides, I only took a minute to find the plastic bag.

I WAS LIKE...?????

"where is it..? where is it..??"

"this can't be happening!"

and!

all of sudden!

the bat came out right from the hole (with water)

and it was all drenched!

and I LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!!

the bat seriously make me laughed!

then, I took it from the toilet bowl using the plastic bag and put it outside.

poor bat~~

instead of having mysterious thought of that bat,

it became SUPER FUNNY moment!

THANKS bat for making me laughed so loud! XP